HAPPY NEW YEAR!!!

Our Adoption Story.
I have wanted to share our story with all of you for awhile, but changing diapers and preparing bottles has taken precedence for the time being….and I would not want it any other way;-) It has been an amazing journey, so I guess I will just start at the beginning and see where it goes from there. I can remember the sequences of events better by each month, so that’s how we’ll do this. Grab a cup of coffee or tea because it’s a long one! Alright, here goes:

November 2007
Kim went to her 10 year college reunion and caught up with her close friend, Missi. We talked about her friend adopting a baby from Catholic Children’s Adoption agency. For some reason, that was one of the things that just stuck in my mind from our conversation. It will come back to my mind later on in our story.

December 2007
We celebrated our 10th wedding anniversary. Our lives also changed forever when my brother’s health took a turn for the worse. We focused on being with him as much as possible. Tim passed away of stomach cancer on Jan. 10, 2008. He was 28.

January 31, 2008
My mind went back to the conversation I had with my friend in November at the reunion. I got online and “googled” Catholic children’s adoption agency. There was so much information on adoption. Before I knew it, a few hours had passed and I was extremely frustrated because a lot of the adoption websites are extremely confusing and links don’t take you where you want to go……Needless to say, I was getting really upset, so I closed the link I was on and scrolled down the pages and pages of websites. I think is was page 4 or 5 and I saw something different for the first time…..It was a Law Office that focused on infant adoptions in the U.S. I clicked there and it took me a site that was much less confusing and allowed me to view questions and testimonials of previous clients and waiting families….There was also a space to receive more info about the adoption process.
I filled out a few personal questions and then all I had to do was click the submit button. I froze. What was I doing? What was I thinking? I sat there for probably another ½ an hour just deciding if I wanted to actually admit to myself that adoption was for us. Well, I finally took a deep breath and said a quick prayer and clicked the mouse. I was relieved.

February 2008
I got an email the next day stating that I would need to contact an Adoption consultant at the Law Office. I called and then spoke with her. She stated the same info that was on the website and much more. She answered the questions I had at that time. That impressed me very much. She sent us an adoption packet with tons more info and set up a follow up call 2 weeks later.
She called back. We spoke with her for over an hour and she explained the entire process to Aaron and me. We asked her to call us back a week later so we could discuss it more.

March 2008
We decided that we wanted to go ahead with this Law Office mainly because the wait was so short. They average a wait time to be match with a birthmother of 3-4 months. We actually were only on the website for 1 ½ months before being matched.
At this point, we still had not told anyone about our decision. It was driving Aaron crazy. He had to tell someone, so we decided to call his sister because we wanted her to take some pictures of us for our profile. Marlo had to do some scheming because Jayne, Aaron and Marlo’s mom, would want to know why Marlo had to take pictures of us. We found out later that Jayne thought Aaron and I were trying out for “Dancing with the Stars”. She forgot about the being famous part. Jayne found out about the baby on her birthday. We put together a photo album of Aaron and Marlo when they were little and then there was a picture of Aaron and me smiling. We put a little cloud above our picture that said, “Happy Birthday Grandma! I just wanted to let you know that I am going to be adopted soon, so I just wanted my mom and dad to let you know about me. Love, Grandbaby #2.” She thought we were joking at first. And then realized it was true. Then she started dancing around and saying, “we’re going to have a baby!”
So, we told Kim’s family on Easter. And, boy, were they shocked. It was really out of the blue that we told them in the conversation. We had been sitting in Jill’s kitchen visiting and Dad, Sharon and Andy were just starting to get ready to leave. Aaron kicked me under the table and I just blurted out, “So, Aaron and I are going to adopt a baby.” The look on their faces was priceless. I got a phone call from dad later in the evening saying that he was just thinking about the news we dropped on them and was very happy for us. I listen to the saved message on my cell every 21 days.

April 2008
Adopting a baby is a PROCESS!!!!!!!!! There is so much paperwork…….background checks, classes to attend, traffic violations, home study questionnaires, more paperwork, pictures to take of our activities and hobbies, and still even more paperwork. This month was spent entirely getting all of that stuff together. My sister kept reminding me, “It’s just the hoops you have to jump through. Just be patient. You’ll forget about all of it the moment you hold your child.” How true you were, Jill. Thanks.

May 2008
We finalized all our paperwork and our home study was complete and approved by the social worker. Everything was sent to the Law Office, and the waiting game began. It would take about 2 ½ weeks before our online profile would be able to be viewed on the website.

June 2008
Our online profile went live on the website. It was really cool. I could logon and check to see how many times our profile could be viewed nationwide. That first month it was viewed just under 400 times, and well over 1,000 times in total. We were on the site for about 4 days and we got a call telling us that a birthmother had picked us. That was on a Friday. Father’s day was Sunday. On Monday, we got another call telling us that the birthmother changed her mind. Wow. Just like that. We were back on the list. Ground zero. We had a hard time with that at first. We finally came to the conclusion that baby was not the one for us, still it was difficult.

July 2008
This was a month of HIGHS and LOWS! It started out on a very low note with the extremely unexpected death of Kim’s step mother, Sharon. Shock was not even the word that could even begin to explain the added pain of losing another family member 6 months apart. We were numb most of the month. Aaron had planned earlier in the year to go fishing with his dad Jon, cousin Eric, and uncle Fred. They have gone fishing in Canada together for about 5 years. He would be gone for almost 2 weeks. During that time, I got the call AGAIN(the High moment begins). A new birthmother had selected us. I was a little hesitant this time, not wanting to get too excited and get emotionally connected like we did the previous time. I had no way of reaching Aaron to tell him, so I called Jayne to let her know. I told her if Jon called, to have Aaron call me ASAP. 30 minutes later, Aaron called. We saw pictures of both birthparents and their kids. We also scheduled a conference call to “meet” the birthparents.

August 2008
We spoke on the phone with the “birthcouple” and our adoption counselor for over an hour and a half. It was very weird/great/emotional/surreal all at the same time. The birthmother expressed her desire for us to connect with the baby prior to being born…by attending as many doctor’s appointments as possible, weekly phone conversations and seeing us bond with the baby as much as possible prior to the birth of the baby. I was not expecting that. Looking back on it now, I am so grateful for the amazing experience it was. We really did bond with the baby and fulfilled her desire for us to be as involved as we were.
We got to be there when she had the ultrasound. Having never seen one in person before, I was speechless. I remember the baby stretching out hi s arms (yes, we found out it He was a He) and arching his back in complete profile. I was astonished. I was having a hard time believing that this would someday be my child. It didn’t seem real. I felt like I was watching a movie.

September, October, and November 2008
We spoke weekly and I flew to her state (except in November) for doctor’s appointments.

December 2008
We decided it would be best for us if I was in the birthmother’s state for the majority of the month prior to delivery for several reasons. Mainly because she had weekly appointments and in case she went into labor early since her boyfriend would not be in the delivery room with her. She wanted us to be able to experience the miracle of our son’s birth.

I will share more with you about this amazing woman at another time who gave the greatest gift to us we could ever receive. Thank you is just so not enough. It truly has been the GREATEST CHRISTMAS EVER!!!!!!